New movies in three lines: the best and worst of the week EP6
You can find a lot of more or less interesting films in theaters and on streaming platforms. Each week we will select a few to write very short reviews on them in a humorous and lighthearted tone. A useful and practical binder complete with quotes that will stick in Google’s memory. If you missed episode five, you can catch up with it here.
Kurt Wimmer’s Children of the Corn
We had to create a neologism for this film : trashendental.
Okay, most of the films based on Stephen King’s works are trashy, But this remake of The Children of the Corn – which was already terrible in itself, he and all his more or less apocryphal sequels – fluently surpasses all worst kingian adaptations you can think of. Which in some ways is also a record.
Armageddon Time by James Gray
The films of this extraordinary auteur are a paradox: they always go unnoticed and go quickly, and yet they are immortal, in the sense of timeless, in the sense of all time: they are always worthwhile, in short, whether yesterday or today or tomorrow.
A few months ago we included it in our ranking of the best films of 2022, now it is on the schedule of Italian theaters.
CocainBear by Elizabeth Banks
Great comic timing, excellent staging of action, even suspense and lots of laughs: it is exactly everything the trailer promised: a ‘brava’ to Elizabeth Banks, especially for her decision to direct a film that is the exact opposite of the typical film Hollywood nowadays entrusts to female directors, as if female directors should only direct soppy, ‘busy’ dramas.
It will be released in Italy on April 20 with Universal Pictures.
Winnie the Pooh: Blood & Honey by Rhys Waterfield
The fairy tale of Winnie the Pooh reinterpreted in horror: Christopher Robin abandons him to go to college (as in Toy Story) and Winnie becomes a sadistic homicidal maniac (not as in Toy Story).
Academy Award for the idea (the making of which was made possible by the fact that the rights to the character went into the public domain in 2022), but unlike Mad Heidi, which at least was unparalleled fluff (we told you about it in theepisode 5 of Movies in Three Lines), this unfortunately is a sozzeria like so many others: CocainOrso’s shoulders are broad enough to hold up his psychotic idea; there are no knees here either.
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